I am in such a good place with my life, I had to take a moment and reflect on it. My vacation was a chance to not only get away from work, but reconnect with my husband. We have been married 10 years now and it seems like it was only yesterday. He is my most adored partner and companion. He helps me navigate the waters of this chaotic existence we call life. He is my fiercest protector and guard, he is my lover and guide, he is my friend, and he is my Daddy. He also understands and shares my belief, that one person can’t fill your needs entirely. Neither of us believes that marriage equals monogamy.
You have to navigate poly relationships carefully. You have to be constantly on guard against not hurting your primary partner, while you explore your other relationships. It forces you to communicate honestly, and openly about what you are doing. It has challenged me to be a better partner to my husband. He is my loving Daddy. He just has that personality and he very much enjoys taking care of me and being in a Daddy role with me. He has had fears in the past about BDSM. He saw some very sadistic play and mind control at a fetish party some years ago and it has made him fearful every since. He was not happy about how some of the things occurred in my previous relationship, so he had/has fears. He recognizes it is a need of mine to continue my exploration of Dominance and submission and other BDSM related areas. So we talk. A lot. It only serves to strengthen our relationship. Sometimes it is not easy for me to talk, sex is a very complicated topic for me, despite my willingness to show my boobs on the internet.
Through all of this exploration I have discovered new things about myself. I am a little girl inside who wears big girl panties most days. I need the escape that exploring my little side has brought me. Don’t be mistaken, I am a very, dirty little girl. I enjoy the psychology of DD/lg play and it lets me connect sexually to my partner better.
My need to explore has kicked in again, and I am ready to emotionally engage in a relationship again. I am armed with the experiences of my previous relationship, to make me smarter this time about my role as a submissive. I am ready to move forward. In a future post, I will talk about my relationships. I have really come to understand what I need emotionally and sexually, to be a happy and fulfilled woman, and I want to share.
More to come!